A Lack of Focus and a Million Tabs Open
Is it always ADHD?
I was the little girl in school who was always getting in trouble for talking too much (weren’t we all?)
I spent my time in school distracted and doodling, obsessed with boys and clothes from an early age. I didn’t care about academics.
I didn’t see much of a future for myself and just hoped I could meet a rich guy and look pretty. I grew up in the era of Disney movies and princesses. I played with Barbies, I wasn’t aiming for academia, after all my dad was in prison, my mom was standing in line at the food bank, taking the smackdown from her idiotic boyfriends, and alcohol was the most important thing to my immediate family.
I never saw anyone striving. All I saw were a lot of adults trying to escape. They drank and smoked around the large oval table in my grandparent’s condominium. Sometimes I liked to hear the laughter from where I hung out in the back bedroom, but then the laughter became belligerent loud voices arguing about religion or politics. No one could decipher who was on which side because it all became just loud voices and from a little girl’s perspective made no sense.
While I was back there I would type on my grandma’s old typewriter or dress up in her aerobic outfits while I rowed on her rowing machine. I would look in the…
